


Worthy

by SunriseRose1023



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29325912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunriseRose1023/pseuds/SunriseRose1023
Summary: When Buck stormed out of dinner with his parents, there's only one place he could think to go.Missing scene from 4x04: "9-1-1, What's Your Grievance?"
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 406
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Worthy

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Covid, I binged 9-1-1 on quarantine and fell completely in love. This is my first time writing for Buck and Eddie, and I hope it sparks joy.

Eddie had just pulled the pizza out of the oven when the knock echoed on the front door. He glanced towards the living room, where he knew Christopher was watching Wheel of Fortune like a little old man. Eddie smiled and tossed the dish towel he’d thrown over his shoulder into the counter and walked to the door, opening it. 

The smile slid from his face when he saw Buck pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath, hands clenching into fists before relaxing, only to clench again. 

“Hey, Buck. Everything okay?”

Stupid question. Stupid, stupid question. Buck shook his head, giving a hard exhale. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”  
“Hey, what is it? What happened?”

Buck shook his head again, continuing his long footsteps, three in one direction, then three back. He never stopped moving, he  _ couldn’t,  _ and Eddie’s heart kind of broke as he watched him. He reached out and almost touched Buck’s shoulder, but Buck flinched away violently, head thrashing from side to side. 

“Don’t touch me.”

Eddie held up his hands. 

“I’m sorry.”  
“You  _ can’t  _ touch me right now.”  
“Okay. I won’t.”

Buck let out a laugh, a sound Eddie hated because it wasn’t his usual laugh. This one was hard, no joy in it, so unlike the man he knew. Eddie stepped further out the door, pulling it shut behind him. 

“Talk to me, Buck.”

Buck gave another of those laughs, shaking his head. 

“All that work I’ve put into therapy and one  _ fucking _ dinner shoots it all to hell.”  
“What happened?”  
“Same old shit.”

Buck paced back and forth twice before he stopped and looked to Eddie. They locked eyes for just a moment before Buck shook his head again, going back to pacing as he spoke. 

“My dad talked about how he’d heard about me being in the hospital. He’d  _ heard about it,  _ Eddie. Couldn’t be bothered with coming to check on his son after I was crushed under a fucking fire truck, but it was okay, ‘cause he’d heard about it. And my mother? Oh, don’t even get me started.”

Eddie had the clarity of mind to keep his mouth shut, crossing his arms over his chest as he let Buck ramble as he paced. 

“She blamed our shitty childhood on me and Maddie. Said it was our fault because we never made it easy on her. What the fuck were we … we were kids! Kids are supposed to be difficult!”

Eddie nodded. Not that Buck could tell, what with the frantic pacing. Buck shook his head again. 

“And then she had the  _ audacity _ to ask me what she was supposed to do. How would I have liked her to handle it?”  
“What’d you say?”

Buck had his back to Eddie as he suddenly went still, shoulders rising and falling too quickly. He slowly turned to face him, pain-filled eyes meeting Eddie’s. 

“I just wanted her to love me.”

Eddie stepped forward, catching Buck as his knees buckled. They sank to the floor, Buck grabbing onto the arm Eddie wrapped around his chest, holding tightly. 

“Easy, Buck. Easy.”  
“What’s wrong with me?”

Eddie shook his head, moving a hand to press Buck’s head against his chest. 

“There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing.”  
“It’s got to be. My own parents don’t give a damn.”  
“That’s on them. Not you. You’ve never done a damn thing to warrant any of this.”

Buck’s grip tightened as he shook his head again. 

“I can’t keep a relationship. I’m reckless and needy and no one wants to deal with that.”  
“I do.”

The words slipped out before Eddie could stop them, and Buck turned his face further into Eddie’s chest. 

“All I’ve ever done is disappoint them. That’s all I’m good for.”  
“No, it’s not. No, Buck.”

Buck didn’t even realize he was crying, and Eddie brushed his fingers through Buck’s hair. 

“You’re not a disappointment, Buck. Not to me.”  
“I know you’re lying!”

Buck pushed out of Eddie’s hold, both of them standing as Buck pushed a wrist under his nose. 

“The lawsuit. I did that. That was  _ my fault  _ and you and Chris suffered because of it.”  
“Yeah, fine. But Buck … you’re not the only one to blame.”  
“Eddie!”  
“I couldn’t talk to you and I went off the fucking rails, man. I got arrested, then joined a goddamn fight club, and—  
“It was all because of me.”

Eddie shook his head. 

“I forgave you for that, Buck. You’ve more than made up for it. I don’t hold that against you.”  
“Well, you should.”

Eddie just stared at Buck, at the tears welling in his eyes that he was trying to fight off, the tension in his shoulders, the weight he was struggling to hold. Eddie slowly shook his head, walking forward, ignoring the way Buck backed up, the way he shook his head. 

“Don’t—“

Eddie wrapped Buck in his arms, pulling him close and holding on tightly. 

“Don't for one second think you’re not worthy of love. You’ve made mistakes, but no one holds those against you. You’re a good man, Buck. You’re the best man and it kills me that you’re the only one who doesn’t see that.”

Eddie held on tighter as Buck tried to get away, and he closed his eyes when Buck latched onto him, burying his face in Eddie’s shoulder as he cried. The sobs were muffled by Eddie’s shirt, and Eddie moved a hand to the back of Buck’s head, just holding him. 

“I got you. I got you, Buck.”

He could feel Buck’s fingers digging into his back, but Eddie just stroked his hair and held him. He closed his eyes when he heard the door open behind him, shielding Buck from the curious eyes behind the glasses. 

“Hey, Dad?”  
“Yeah, buddy?”  
“The pizza’s getting cold.”

Eddie nodded, and Buck whispered an apology. Eddie shushed him, gentle hand rubbing up and down his back. 

“I’ll be there in just a second, kid.”  
“Okay. I might eat the whole pizza.”

Buck gave a watery laugh at that, and Eddie smiled. 

“We’ve got another in the fridge. We’ll eat as much as we want.”  
“Is Buck staying for dinner?”

Buck gave another quiet laugh, and Eddie gave the back of his neck a gentle squeeze. 

“Buck can stay as long as he wants.”

Buck nodded, giving a shaky exhale as Christopher’s crutches tapped against the floor as he walked away. Eddie stepped back, keeping an arm around Buck’s shoulders. 

“Come on. Frozen pizza awaits.”


End file.
